It's Hotter 'n Hades Out Thar!

WHINE ALERT: This blogger is on a heated rampage!

I'm now in my (ahem) mid-50s and it just dawned on me that I HATE SUMMER! Gone are the days of my childhood when summer meant a long break from school, spending days at the swimming pool and hanging with my friends. How well I remember those foolish months spent working on my tan (not an easy task for a redhead!), getting more sunburns than I care to remember, doing my best (albeit stupidly) to summon the future skin cancer gods. But there we were, slathered up in baby oil mixed with drops of iodine for extra tanning; hair doused with Sun-In for those "natural" highlights . . . broiling under the hot sun like a bunch of chickens roasting on the grill. Ah, the bliss of ignorance.

But now, after all these years, I've realized how much I despise heat. Especially when the air is dripping with humidity. I grew up in Oklahoma where the wind wasn't the only thing that came sweepin' down the plain. Summers blistered in Tulsa and yes, we could fry eggs on the sidewalk. The humidity was intense. Then I got married and ended up in Florida for almost 15 years. OH. MY. GOSH. I remember our first event at the First Baptist Church of Naples, the church that had just called my husband as youth pastor. We arrived the end of May, just in time for the annual church picnic. Now this was back in 1984, and church staff members just did NOT wear shorts. Ever. But yours truly was dumb enough to wear HOSE under my slacks! (In all fairness, I had just gone through a miscarriage and I wasn't yet in my right mind . . .) But HOSE? In that sweltering southern Florida heat?! Suffice it to say, a good time was NOT had by all. I was miserable!

But I'd always wanted to live near the beach, and at first I loved living in Florida. Eventually, however, the enduring killer heat that is a constant in the Sunshine State just got to me. Two, maybe three months out of the year we had some cooler temps. I couldn't handle it. I was so thrilled the day we finally got to move to Tennessee. Back to NORMAL weather, baby!

We've now been here in middle Tennessee for 11 years. We discovered early on that summer is pleasant up until July 4th, then stays pretty darn hot until mid-September. But we just learned to stay indoors and crank up the AC.

But this year . . . holy hot potatoes, Batman! It's unbearable out there! I went out to water my flowers the other morning, and I was drenched by the time I was done. Had to come inside and take another shower!

And that's when I realized: I HATE SUMMER. I really do! We're all wired differently, right? Well, pparently heat affects my whole being in quite a negative way. Puts me in a funk. Wears me out. Makes me whine and rant and rave, and run the socks off our AC. I can't stand being hot and sticky and sweaty. It makes me CRAZY! (Can you tell?)

Give me the cool breezes of early spring or late fall, or better yet - the icy cold of winter! A blast of polar air - that's the ticket! And oh, how I love SNOW! Maybe I should move to Montana. Or Colorado. Or here's a thought - I could boot out that journalist who moved in next to Sarah Palin up in Wasilla, and become an Alaskan. Hey, I'll take blizzards ANY day over the burning hot days of summer.

So now you know. If I seem a little wacky between now and October, you'll know why. Just humor me. I'll get through it. How about you? Are you a Summer Soul or a Winter Wonder?